I unplugged for a summer... and oups, it’s been over 5 years
2019 - 2024
Want me to catch you up ? 😅 Goodness gracious, I started writing this thing 5 years ago, lol.
I usually unplug from socials for the summer…. The kids being home, family visiting, too much outdoor fun to be had and all!
But then, it turned into a 5 year + intermission for many many reasons in the whirlwind of my life. Everything has completely changed as many events have taken a large pieces out of me and my attention has been diverted, obviously.
I know, it sounds dramatic … well, for me, it has been quite intense.
I’ve decided to get real vulnerable, because, heck, what do I have to lose at this point ?!
The point here is to share and find community despite it all, I’m still dizzy from all of the events and this is definitely a cathartic exercise.
I’ll attempt to present the most recent and most impactful events of my life, in a very quick way.
There is so much more depth to everything that follows, each segment has its own story(ies) …
There are no failures ... only 'Flops' full of lessons and learnings ... Long live change and evolution, the only constant.
FLOP #1 - (2019) Not finding the right kind of help at the right time. So many projects so little time and way too many hats to wear. I had ambitious ideas and I tried in vain to search for a variety of collaborators (graphic artist, programmers, social media manager, make-up artist/stylist…) to help me with a few campaigns for my business as I was ramping up to get ready for the Bridal Boudoir Affair 2019, my Pop-Up, amongst other events. I also had commercial clients’ work that I wanted to delegate, grow my team. Maybe I was too picky… looking for local folks, female (to put my boudoir clients at ease), people available and inspired by a possible longer term collaboration.
Pop-Up Studio 2019
FLOP #2 - (2019) For the first time in my photography business, I opened a POP-UP. I had a few amazing shoots and a couple very successful fundraising events in the space… yeah! But all in all, it was a total bust. It’s still hard to admit five years later. I didn’t lose any money, but I certainly didn’t make a profit, or inspire anyone to support me further. My open-door weekend and 5 à 7 Saturday night Vernissage, wasn’t marketed right, I guess, and it didn’t inspire my networks (personal or professional) at all to come out and check out my most recent work. Literally, no one came. ZERO. 0.
As a sensitive entrepreneur, this was a very large, hard pill to swallow…
LIFE ALTERING EVENT #1 - (2019) Justin’s eye. All these feelings of failure had to quickly be swept under the rug… Only 2 days after moving out of the pop-up space, my eldest son got a random freak infection. He suffered from ocular cellulitis; an asymptomatic sinus infection had pierced his papyrus bone and infected the tissues surrounding his left eye. Eight days in the hospital, and another 6 weeks taking 3 types of antibiotics, one oral, 2 intravenous. Having a pic-line and a pump to manage, injecting medicine straight into my son’s heart… time literally came to a hard stop for those 2 months, and so did my business.
FLOP #3 - (2019) The realization that I hadn’t built the community I needed for these difficult times. My family lives far (Florida and Paris) and I’ve often felt like a nomad in people’s lives. Thank goodness for my bestie’s mom for helping with meals; but having moved around growing up and never having been to a school for more than two years have left me feeling isolated and without a real solid network. It’s what I happen to crave the most, community and common projects with like-minded people, and support, especially in those more trying moments.
WIN #1 - (2019) Despite everything, everyone is OK, Justin is OK !
LIFE ALTERING EVENT #2 - (2020) The pandemic hit, the homesteading mode went full throttle, and I had to pivot big time with my business and it was bittersweet … My commercial packages took off but my family portrait business came to an end and I had to close my home studio. My boudoir photography business also came to a halt, but as this one is hard for me to let go … I’ve mostly indulged in self-portraiture since, more on that later.
WIN #2 - (2018 - 2023) EXKA becomes my best commercial contract ever. I had a lot of fun serving as their exclusive photographer and Managing their Visual Brand(s). I learned a lot and I’m proud of the work I did for their website, socials and print marketing needs developing visual assets and copy. You can check out my first blog on them here, or my latest one here !
2022 ANNOYANCE - My business got audited for the years 2018 and 2019. I’ve never done so much accounting as in 2022. It’s all good, I’m organized and I passed all suspicions. But…. maybe you remember how I rebranded in 2018, finished my home office, invested in shows and events such as my Pop-up, in an effort to relaunch my brand, all to have it be halted by my kid getting sick... The Gov. doesn’t like it when you have little to no short-term returns on your business’s investments.
LIFE ALTERING EVENT #3 (2022) - My parents’ summer visit came with the gift of covid and we proceed to have the most terrible July ever on record. * Note that my mother has fairly advanced dementia and still doesn’t know what covid is (imagine her blowing her nose and wiping everything with the tissue, uncontrollable and incontestably intense) … a complete shit-show of a summer, I was completely exhausted from my ‘time off’, on so many levels.
Last 'Aurevoir' selfie by the river.
LIFE ALTERING EVENT #4 (2022) - The beginning of the down-whirl spiral of my relationship with my kids’ dad and our inevitable separation. The second half of this year was extremely difficult for me, and my nervous system is still recuperating and recalibrating. So much much more can be said on that… I’m doing much better but still aching for how it all turned out for my two amazing boys, there are no words for the love I contain for them.
LIFE ALTERING EVENT #5 (2023) - Moving out of my home of 17 + years. I had planted roots, designed and partly built this house with my own hands, thinking my great-grandchildren would enjoy the fruits of my labour. That was super super super hard.
WIN #3 (2023) - Found a really nice place to rent with my kids, close to their schools, still in the woods but 4 minutes from town. A fantastic spot to transition to whatever comes next and my kids love it. There are amazing trails and rivers all over for my hikes with Kisho.
LIFE ALTERING EVENT #6 (2023-2024) - My workplace with my fav. client became super toxic. Maybe the fact that my ex was number two there had some influence on these outcomes, we’ll never know… A new ‘colleague’ categorically refused to work with me and my input had lost value. I’ve never cried so much as I have this past year trying to navigate this professional situation, or with a client at all, ever. After 5 + years of collaboration in building their brand(s), this relationship is now over. I can rant off on that another time, maybe.
FLOP #4 (2024) - My biggest error in all this, was putting a pause on my own personal brand. For 3 - 4 years, I focused solely on my big client, and a handful of other little contracts here and there, and my roster was full. Life happened and now … nothing is up to date, my socials have been dormant for so long, the simple idea of catching up and continuing is overwhelming … but, here I am, attempting some first steps.
2023 - 2024 WIN, ANNOYANCE & CHALLENGE - I’ve found pieces of my identity over the past few years that feel right and justly aligned to me, but these things also isolate and marginalize me even more, I need to meet my peoples … Living authentically is what I strive for, and unmasking my adaptive behaviours is challenging as fuck. My profound desire for finding kinship, community, and like-minded folks is really felt here in this moment and time of flux.
Today’s CHALLENGE - Finding motivation, direction, confidence, inspiration, and regular work; I don’t know where to put my energies as I’m still in a freeze state on some days… When all the roots you’ve planted need to get ripped out, it feels very odd to not be grounded, to not know where and if I’ll be grounded in a year, 2 or 3 from now. Finding my bearings is hard at the moment.
The OPPORTUNITY - Change is the only constant and cleaning house is good and makes room for other better things. Out with the old, in with the new … Or so they say. When a window shuts, another opens …. any other pertinent cliched sayings ??
I’m positive there are interesting opportunities waiting for me on the other side of all this change, I trust the universe will provide and take care of me.
Voilà ! The summary of my life updates listed out in simple form … and now, onwards and forwards !
My roster is open !! If you know of any opportunities for which I’d be well suited for, please let me know and send them my way.
Looking for growth partners, part-time secure work, and/or freelance contracts, ideally remote or hybrid.
🙏 Thank you for reading me !
With much love,
Karyn
